A hot Sunday in April

Geez, today is hot! Sitting outside does not help. Only AC. Thank God for AC - sorry about global warming but geez I needs to be cool. I don't remember it being this hot when I grew up and I come from 13 degrees north of the equator. Dag........It's so hot I feel as if I can't breathe. I hate extreme temps - Give me 50 to 70 degrees and I am happy. Maybe up to 75 and I can stand up to 90 with a nice breeze. That's the key - a nice breeze. That's why it wasn't hot growing up - there was always the NE tradewinds. They were great! So no AC needed there.
Anyway I'm rambling - today is Sondra's funeral - I'm trying not to think about it - had two drinks already - but I know for me that is severely under target. Might just enhance the emotions and that I ain need. Sondra Hewitt. My cousin who became a sister. Man we were stubborn together. And I am a quiet stubborn but bot did she force me to voice how I felt. I think more than anyone she made me speak out. And it wasn't that she said Keeva speak out but you had to do it with her. She did not like pushovers. So.....she more than anyone prepared me for this society. Sondra - I hate to think she is gone. Is like a whole chapter is gone. I hate closing chapters. I hate the end of a book. Everytime I read a good book, I hate coming down to the last few pages. And with both Mom and Sondra - it feels like that. Only thing is with a book I can pick it up and read it again. But not with life. With life, once that chapter/book ends that's it.......until maybe later.......
My mom died a few days before Mother's Day 2007. I know it's only 2 years now but I can't stand to see Mother's Day ads. For that reason alone, Barnes & Noble and I will part ways until after Mother's Day. I don't think you ever get over the loss of a mother (whether biological or other). But it gets easier cos here I am writing about my mother when just a mention would send me off into a crying jag. My mother talked a lot about her mother - almost like if she was still around. I find I do the same......I hope ppl listen.....Doesn't matter, it helps me. A good book has a lot of memories that you come back to over and over again. But today, I close mommy's book. Cos I tell you if I took it to the funeral today, we might have an overload. I'll tell you about the viewing really later. Now I need to go get ready..............

R.I.P

To those that I love and have lost to date:
Something beautiful, something good
All my confusion, God understood
All I had within me was brokeness and strife
But He made something beautiful in my life

R.I.P
05/07/2007 Patricia A.M. Blades (nee Baisden) - born 01/14/1943

04/18/2009 Sondra Hewitt - born 05/05/1950

To the two women who always encouraged me and whose lives are intertwined with mine even though now ended, I love you. I miss you. But you have both taught me enough to go on. I know you are happier now and I know I will see you again. I know that both of you would be very upset if I did not live my life while I was alive. I will make you proud - although I know you left this earth already proud of me. The sky is never the limit you said. The sky is not my limit. I will love as you taught me to love - give as you taught me to give and remember that no man is an island, for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for me.......and All things work together for good for they that love the Lord and they that are called according to His purpose. Your lives touched many and I will make sure mine does the same.
I love you.

Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts........

So this is my first blog......took a while to get here.......I don't even know how well I can keep it up but maybe my I-phone will help. Especially when I am on the rail in the mornings with nothing to do but stare at the other people. I am sure that rail gets crazier around MLK Drive. Or maybe everything gets crazier around MLK drives across the US. ANd Kennedy Drives too.....hmmm.....
So about me.....the Dr is a PhD designation - a degree I went after because I like to know everything - I am addicted to info......I do CNN, TMZ and theybf.com in that order several times a day......most anything worth knowing comes through those at some point. If I need grittier I go to MSNbc. I like them cos they actually have a post on racism in America. That's brave. I got that PhD designate last year - what a year that was......But my timeline goes like this:
Left Barbados in 2004 - came to the US and Penn State Uni in Happy Valley - what a oxymoron that was ......I guess some of them were happy - if you were of a particular persuasion. Left Center County in 2006 - headed out to LA - hated it. Really hated it - why does everyine think LA is the place to be. Sheesh......more on that later. Headed back to Center County, PA 2007 - had no choice - grad school is really f'ed up - u follow someone's orders for 4-6 years hoping in the end they facilitate your escape from them. They break you down no matter who u are and then suddenly you're qualified to be important - load of crap if you ask me. Graduated in 2008. Started working in a real job that does not allow jeans in the dress code at least not til Fridays in Dec, 2008 and now here I am. Lots more happened but that's what the rest of the blog is for right......time will reveal.
That's it for now.